Awkward is the New Black

Using the word "awkward" to describe a whole slew of mishaps and door traps (okay, I just wanted to rhyme) seems to be all the rage. However, I am here to put a large mammal on the tracks of this roaring trend train and argue that the term has lost its meaning. Tripping over your own feet or choking on air is at the most mildly embarrassing and inconvenient, but not awkward. Allow me to enlighten you with more apt examples:

1.  Losing your balance and falling face first into a stranger's groin, then having said stranger bore holes into your eyes with his accusatory stare as he demands an explanation for your carnal behaviour. (True story.)
2. Asking your friend what time his birthday party is starting while simultaneously finding out the party is a surprise arranged by friends, with subsequent interrogation by the birthday boy to spill the beans. (True story.)
3. Walking in on your parents doing the diddly-doo. And making eye contact. (True story. Also traumatizing. Sorry for the mental imagery.)

Well, if you don't feel sorry for me now, then you probably need to work on your lack of empathy.

Even though I would rather have those events erased from my long-term memory, the lesson I gleaned from them is that your response to your circumstances is all that really matters. The degree of awkwardness/humiliation/embarrassment you experience is completely up to you. Yes, you may fart trumpets at a workplace meeting (true story), but you can either laugh it off or curl up into the fetal position and beg for Mommy. The great thing about your response is that others will mirror it, too. If you are worried what people will think of you, people will think about it and pass judgement. If you don't give a single dang and act like you were born to entertain, people will realize you are easy-going and can roll with the punches. And that's a pretty sweet image to have.

Even when things get painful, like running into someone who grinds your gears the wrong way, it is up to you to either avoid eye contact like you're trying to impose blindness on your perfectly-functioning eyeballs, or to graciously accept this perpetrator's presence in your life and give a quick, polite nod of the head and carry on. In the grand scheme of things, it is really no big deal.

Let's face it, we are all blossoms of the awesome (Rhymer of the Year, am I right??), we have all had our cringe-worthy moments. So let's toast to more for the sake of humanity.

Here's to your pants dropping unexpectedly or walking into someone who regards you as the scum of the Earth. Go out there, be awkward beyond comprehension, and create your own anthology of true stories. Trust me, they make for great conversation.