Confessions of a Hermit

Dance class is always a humbling experience for me. When I freestyle like a freak in the privacy of my bedroom, I feel like no one can compete with my grace and booty shaking. Then, in the presence of my talented, skillful dance mates, and under the tutelage of my superhuman teacher (seriously, her abilities are off-the-charts good; I suspect she may be an extra-terrestrial), I am reminded that, yes, I have potential, but my booty also has to do a lot more shaking before it can win a prize.

Anyway, I am here to talk about my desire to live in the Stone Age, which, in today's terms, means pre-social media.

I have nothing against what Facebook, Twitter, this blog, etc., does for society. They are a great way to share and discuss ideas and events on a global platform.
However, I also feel that there is a fine balance between using it as a fun means to connect with others, and forming a codependent love-hate relationship with it as I have. I can hardly open my eyes every morning without hankering after my phone to check up on the people and groups I follow, instead of appreciating the arrival of a new day. And - getting to the heart of the matter - I really just want the high of being notified that someone has liked, commented on, or shared my post. This is where things get nasty.

I always struggle with social media because I start to rely on it for external validation. I have friends who will attest to the regular deactivation and reactivation of my accounts. This yo-yo behaviour occurs because I start comparing myself to others all the time. I get addicted to feeling superior based on the quality of my posts, but then my inflated ego writhes in agony when I see how much more popular, well-liked, and accomplished my contemporaries are. Of course, this is all an illusion. What we portray on our profiles is just a snapshot of what is happening in our lives. That's the whole point, but my perception of profiles as the be-all and end-all is what gets me into trouble. That is when I feel the need to send my electronics through a cheese grater, 'cause, gosh dangit, why isn't my life as great as theirs?

I'm not sure if occasionally shutting myself off from the world is the right solution. This is most likely a matter of working on my self-esteem. However, using social media in small doses seems to keep me in a happy medium while I figure out what the heck my deal is.

That is all. I wanted to end this post with an inspirational message about not comparing yourself to others, but I am still on a journey of practicing what I preach, so I will hold my tongue (and typing fingers) for now.