Failure to Launch

One of the main objectives of this blog is for you, the reader, to learn from my idiotic mistakes. And trust me, any wisdom I have acquired is from all my experiences being inconceivably stupid.

I am lazy beyond belief. Any indication otherwise is one giant, guileful façade. If I have an energy-packed day (e.g. dancing, socializing), I legitimately take the following day off to recuperate and nap in the fetal position for an ungodly number of hours. A colleague of mine once said I have a less-than-robust constitution, a.k.a., "you are weak and feeble." Alas, I tend to agree.

However, this is mostly of my own doing. I am quite skilled at not taking care of myself. If I didn't have my dear mother forcing proper meals down my throat, I would probably be living on an IV drip by now. I am so bad at meeting my daily nutrition requirements. No, this doesn't mean that I starve myself or that I'm getting ready for bikini season; I just cannot motivate myself to make a proper meal when I can eat a granola bar or devour an entire bag of premade popcorn instead. Perhaps this is something many singletons face: if you're the only mouth that has to be fed, why bother with the intricacies of a recipe that makes twelve servings?

Such a philosophy has, unfortunately, led to the demise of my properly-functioning immune system. I woke up in the middle of the night with a sore throat from Satan's toy box. Usually, I would begin my journey into illness by cursing the entire microbial world for being a pain in the tonsils, but this time, I hung my head in shame as I admitted I had brought this upon myself with my poor eating habits. I have not taken care of myself and this is the lesson I need to learn.

If you think I am being quite dramatic about a measly sore throat, let me tell you how much I dislike being sick. A lot. And a sore throat? Gurl, that ridiculousness HURTS. As far as I'm concerned, germs are the greatest evil masterminds to roam the face of the Earth. (If something delicious falls on the floor, though, I will still eat it... #YOLO).

Anyway, learn from my failure to be a grown up that it is so important to take care of yourself. No matter how much success you achieve in every area of life, without good health, it is truly pointless.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go have some premade popcorn for lunch.

P.S. YES, I wash my hands. Excessively. Hence why they resemble elephant hide instead of soft, velvety epidermis. Thank you.